WTFATG*: Luis Valbuena
Quien?Apparently I slept through spring training this year because I don't remember Luis Valbuena at all. If you're like me, you're wondering who this guy is. I thought he was one of our young farm...
View ArticleWar Criminal: Older People Complaining About the Current State of Pop Music
Not a week goes by when I check my Facebook and don't see some snarky post by some 30+ year old man bitching about Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga or any of the other 4 pop stars currently...
View ArticleIt's Rizzo Time!
It's official. Â Anthony Rizzo will make his Cubs debut tomorrow night. We want to wish Rizzo all the best as he begins his major league career. Hopefully it's a successful one. Â At least successful...
View ArticleCastro & Rizzo, Oops, That's Castro & LaHair to All Star Game
"Don't You, Forget About Me"Starlin Castro and Bryan LaHair were named to the All-Star Game. While Castro was a no-brainer, it was a little surprising to see LaHair get the nod. He did get off to a...
View ArticleTMS Beer Project: Shock Top Belgian White
With the name Saloon included in our moniker, one could surmise that we here at TMS like to drinky drinky. One that would make such an assumption would be correct, thereby throwing out the whole, 'when...
View ArticleThe Gist: Cubs 2, Brewers 1
What Happened:Â I fell asleep some time after the 11th inning. But apparently the Cubs won. Hooray! According to my phone, it happened on a...bases loaded Travis Wood walk? HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's...
View ArticleThe Gist - The Bats Awaken, Beat Cards
Rich is off to go get married or some shit. So you're stuck with me recapping what happened this past series. Expect 50% less effort, and 150% more cursing. Here we go!What Happened: We won a fucking...
View ArticleWar Criminal Update: Shia LaBeouf Still At Large
Back in 2007, this guy named Shia LaBeouf came on my radar. As you can see, I instinctively knew he was a terrible human being, guilty of multiple war crimes.Holy shit did I underestimate how bad he...
View ArticleAre You Ready To Get Gisted?
Hey look, a post! Cubs went 7-1 since you last got gisted.WHAT SAY YOU CHONG LI?
View ArticleSo You Don't Have To: Arby's Gyro
Earlier this week, Jake the Terrible Cubs Fan requested that someone in the TMS crew eat an Arby's Gyro. Never one to back down from an "eat this weird thing" food challenge (seriously Ben, I will get...
View ArticleTMS Late Night: Update - So Far, So Good Game of Thrones
Back in April, I posted my top 5 GOT characters we haven't heard from in a while. So far so good!5. That Guy Who Couldn't Die - Just saw him this week. Looks like he still can't die.4. Edmure Tully -...
View ArticleIntroducing Knuckle Sandwich: The New Sport of Kings
The beating heart of human achievement, no matter what the field, depends on continually pushing boundaries. Can a man hit 71 homers? What is the human stomach's capacity for hot dogs? How can a...
View ArticleCubs Fans: Reasons Not To Drink Bleach
Ugh, well that was certainly a week worth forgetting.Oh yeah, we're still a thing around here. Longtime readers of this site will know that sometimes, without warning or much reason, things will sort...
View ArticleThe Gist: GUHHHHHHHH
We can all agree that last night's Cubs game was the worst game of the season, right? I'm actually glad that there was such a long rain delay. Even though I slept through a dramatic comeback by the...
View ArticleWar Criminal: This God Damn Popup
No, I don't want to give feedback. No one ever wants to give you feedback. The fact that I have a popup blocker and ad blocker should have told you that. Go the fuck away already.
View ArticleTMS Late Night: A Very Special Message from Bud Norris About Home Security
Braves, well fuck, I mean Dodgers pitcher Bud Norris (aka Nud Borris) loves him some lettuce. It's all he talks about. Ask the Atlanta beat writers. They'll tell you. You could ask the Dodgers beat...
View ArticleGod, Are We Awful: Part Infinity
The last time we posted anything here was in JULY. I'd like to say we got so swept up in the Cubs second half play that we just couldn't get to it, but anyone who has followed this site for any amount...
View ArticleJeff Samardzija: Hot Diarrhea Geyser - The TMS Oral History
In every lifetime, there are certain moments that will go down in history as defining moments in American culture. TMS Oral History is a series where we take a closer look at such moments through the...
View ArticleThe Gist: Not Great, Bob
Yes, I stayed awake for the whole game last night. If one person this morning asks me "Was it worth it?" I will murder them for 2 reasons. First, I don't even know how to answer that question. Did...
View ArticleGame 3 Recap: Get It All Out
I'm really frustrated and angry. In sports, the mantra is "stay positive and believe" but holy crap, are the Cubs testing my patience.You know what? For just a minute, let's forget all that. Let's...
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